Not ready yet.

gift-made-surprise-loop-40562It’s December 1st 2017.
Okay, this year has flown by so fast. I woke up today thinking about all the things I had set to accomplish by the end of year and realized I have  maybe just hit half the targets I had set out for myself. That doesn’t bother me much, I did the best I could and I am happy with who and where I am.
I know you are probably wondering what the Tittle to this article is about, well give me your eyes (not literally) But if you could, I would appreciate an extra set of eyes, mine are a little tired. Sometimes they see, sometimes they …

I was born on December 25th a few years ago, (a few, here meaning 2 decades and some extra years on top ) and No, I  don’t know why my parents didn’t call me Christine all those other  names are associated with Christmas, instead they settled for a name, okay scratch that, My dad settled for my name but had it been left to my mum,  I would probably  be a walking Christine or Christie or you get it. I digress…

I woke up today and it hit me that it is my birthday month and that I am not in any way ready for it this time around. It scares the hell out of me that I will be graduating from my ”early 20’s” to the  phase of mid 20’s. I feel like once that bridge is crossed so many things could go wrong, don’t get me wrong, I know so many other things could go right but there is always that small voice in your head asking you if you really are where you wanted to be.

I am scared that I will not be able to silence the voices in my head,  those that creep in and keep me up at wee hours of the night, those that make me question all my life choices and more. I am scared that with age comes great responsibility that I am not mentally prepared for, or like I want to think I am not prepared for. Most time when life happens we deal with it, as is the the case with lemon and lemonade.

We can’t halt time, but if we could I probably would stop my aging clock as at today, I feel like I am the very best version of myself now and I don’t think I would want to ever experience any less the person of who I am.

I may not be ready for the mid’s but I am sure the mid’s are ready for me and by the time I hit them, I will be telling a very different story. Or maybe next year a time such as this, I will be excited of being in the mid’s. You never can tell with time.

Also, to get me ready for the coming year, this girl is accepting gifts, It’s never too early to start sending Christmas/Birthday gifts. Also, you see they don’t have to be two, one gift covers both events. I am saving you a lot, what is it they say? 2 for the price of one? Well, that is me.  My Mpesa line is open. 😉

Till next time, Adios..

Ciru wa Njuguna.

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